It begins with a melancholy
feeling deep inside my soul. Something
pushes it deeper until I
can't handle it anymore. I stop
breathing for a few seconds.
My chest heaves and my lungs take
in a deep, ragged breath. They
get addicted to these sharp
stings. I start to hyperventillate.
I rock forward. I rock backward. I rock
forward and backward and forward
and backward. I rock. I rock. I pull
my hair down. I smooth it out. I smooth my
hair and rock forward and backward and
heave in another ragged breath. One
tear builds up in each eye until
they decide to take the plunge down
my cheeks. The right tear falls onto my
chest with a silent plop as another
follows in its path. And I rock. I rock
and speed breathe. My mind rambles
like a drunken fool stumbling out the doors
of a crowded bar. A fool I would rather
be than myself for the current moment.